You actually broke me. You took everything away from me, for what?
You took away all of the people that were surrounding me and left me alone, feeling broken and discouraged. You stole every ounce of happiness from me and forced me to put on a smile and for that… I want to say thank you.
Thank you for this season of life that was uncharted territory, for putting me in the darkest of woods and forcing me to feel lost. For not giving me a hand or shoulder to lean on because the person I need to be leaning on was just waiting for me to stop panicking, slow down and listen. I am not joking when I say 2022 has been the toughest year of my life and maybe one day I will share those stories but more importantly I want to say thank you for the 2 lessons I have learned in the past seven months.
You taught me that I won’t EVER dare give up on myself. Which sounds cliché… but I mean it… don’t you dare give up fighting every single day to remind yourself that you are strong, beautiful and a force of nature. Don’t give into the voices in your head telling you that you can’t or that you aren’t good enough. because they are lying to you. They tell you that you can’t because those parts of you are scared. Through so much help from my mindset coach and TBH so much more than that @Mindset.w.Mads (FOLLOW HER ON THE GRAM) I have been able to silence those moments of self doubt and realize that Me, myself and God are what I need to be most comfortable with day in and day out. Checking in sometimes hourly with my mindset, paying attention to my thought patterns, yes, it is WORK but it has changed my life! I have learned to slow down, breath and take a moment to connect my soul to my body. Don’t you dare throw in the towel because you don’t know what’s around the other corner. This life is way too beautiful to give up on and there is far too many things to do in this world. You need to take a moment and look at the positives, even if it is a blade of grass… be thankful because that blade of grass is there for you!
The second thing I have learned is that sometimes God waits for you to stop pacing or running in circles around him. I like to imagine myself running in circles around him sometimes with all of my frantic lists about all the things I need to do and telling him what needs to be done and, and, and… but in reality HE already knows and I feel like I can here Him saying “Grace, Grace, ummm, Yeah I know and I handled it” but because I have created so much noise in my head, I can’t here Him talking. Instead here I am running myself in circles talkin and talking and talkin! He has already done all the things I’m talking about and knows how they will pan out if I just stop for a moment and let Him lead me… its a tough lesson to learn because we want nothing more than to control every moment of EVERY day when all He is asking of us is to be still and allow Him to move through us… its a tough lesson to learn, especially when you feel like your world is crumbling around you and you feel like you have to hold it all together. When in actuality… He has it all handled.
So yeah, Thank you pt.1 of 2022 for the trials that have made me stronger and tougher than I ever could have imagined. Thank you for your tough love…. I can’t wait to see what the rest of the year contains!