You Told Me I Wouldn’t

You told me I wouldn’t amount to anything.

You told me I wasn’t smart enough, only a pretty face.

You told me I wouldn’t have to work… that I’d marry rich.

You told me I was mean.

You told me that everyone hated me.

You told me I wasn’t skinny enough.

You told me I wouldn’t chase my dream.

You told me I wasn’t good enough.

And for all of those hateful things, all I can say is… Thank you.

Thank you for finally breaking me enough that I had to finally listen to my heart and my true self. Without you I would be lost, unsure of my place in the world and not nearly as strong as I am now. “Wouldn’t(s)”and one of my best friends parents telling me that “everyone hated me” began at the age of 12… Yes you read that right, 12. There have always been people telling me I couldn’t and wouldn’t and I am grateful for them {it sounds bizarre I know}, and I look back at that time and see how hurt I was and how I never want someone to feel like I did in that moment. so dark, defected, rejected and the words stuck. They clung to me like static clothing. You pulled the words off and they attached themselves right back to you with no effort.

You see you can only break someone so much before they become stronger than you and discover their inner strength. You did just that for me, you broke my heart and spirit so much that I began to believe every word people spoke to me. I began believing I was going to just have to marry rich because I wasn’t smart enough. I believed that everyone hated me, shut down on people and built walls so high that they reached Mars and not even my parents could begin to chisel through the barbwire and cement walls I placed myself in, because I simply believed you.

Because of you, I was broken and  now I am stronger than before. Free from people’s opinions, free from my own horrific thoughts and free from You. Thank you for teaching me about my own strength and thank you for making me the strong woman that I am today. Without you I would not be able to take criticism and I wouldn’t know how words truly affect people. Because of you, I believe that I can, I believe I am and I believe I will. I am in control of my future… not you. I am destined for more than being a slave to your words. I am more than a pretty face, I have a brain. I am going to be more than a house wife, I am going to change the world. All because you didn’t believe in me… I am free.

You know, I use to be a huge people pleaser and I have quickly learned that it isn’t possible to please the world. In fact, the only people I plan on pleasing are my direct family because they lift me up, support me and guid me in the correct direction. Ignore the world, ignore the people who say “You Won’t” and go for it, chase your dream and don’t you dare stop running until you reach your goals.

I knew you always could, and I knew you always would…

Much Love,

Grace Dirig